ruffled // Part I

alright y'all.

I've been bottling up some things I think I need to let out.

I've got some unpopular opinions to present and some unusual outlooks to share. Now mind you, I don't expect many people to agree with me, and I'm okay with that, but just remember. Agree to disagree, without becoming disagreeable. 

Honestly I don't even know where to start. I've had a really hard time focusing lately, which isn't abnormal for me. I feel like there's a million things swirling around in my head and heart right now, and it's hard to pinpoint any one thing. So I'm gonna tell y'all a story because that's the best way for me to explain one of the issues I wanna talk about.

This past weekend I went to my first photography "meet-up". It's basically when a bunch of photographers get together with a bunch of models and "collaborate". But I didn't just go as a photographer, I went as a model too.

As I predicted, my social anxiety sky rocketed within 20 minutes of being there. I clung to my camera for security hoping no one would think I was modeling too, even though I looked amazing and had gotten my makeup professionally done.  I felt like my 12yr old self again, mortified to be in front of people, terrified that someone might pay attention to me. 

Needless to say, the camera did the trick and protected me. Not one single photographer asked me to model for them. I was relieved...until I realized something. 

Besides one friend, every other model there was wearing bikinis. I mean, granted we were at the beach, but it quickly unsettled me that those girls in bikinis were the only girls being given any attention. Why? What's artistic about that? Nothing. That's what. Nothing. 

I mean, they COULD have been artistic about it. Someone could have had some cool props, colored chalk, smoke, crazy lights, or rainbow reflections. Heck even a chair would have been cool.

But there was none of that. There was no vision.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not here to be all righteous and judgmental towards girls who wear bikinis, and in no way am I trying to sound like I even dislike bikinis. What I'm really trying to get at, is that I'm so incredibly over that sort of photography. You know, where it's just a pretty girl showing off her for now young and attractive body. If you scroll through some of the top featuring pages on Instagram that's the majority of what you'll see. Hot bodies. 

There's no richness, there's no soul, and there's certainly not much true creativity going on.

So here's the deal. Photos of hot girls in bikinis on a gorgeous beach is  over done, obnoxious, and unoriginal.

There, I said it.

Also. I'm so over fairy lights and chacos are stupid.

The meet up gave me the motivation to continue being different. It opened my eyes to the fact that my photography, my vision, my art, is unique because I myself am. I know that sounds slightly narcissistic, but I don't give a crap.

I'm not about to give into peer pressure. I'm not going to adorn a bikini just to be noticed, and I'm not gonna take cliche click bait photos that will fill my feed with pretty, if not slightly skanky girls just because that's what everyone else does.

So guys, lets create something meaningful..and if you're guilty of having given into the peer pressure of taking photos for the sole purpose of adding to that follower count, there's forgiveness for you.

I crave the company of genuine artists. People of quality.

People who create richness within their art.

Thankfully I found some of those souls this weekend, you know who you are, and you guys rock.

But everyone else, y'all and your dumb bikinis sucked.

xx-Honna

lets do something different

It's a challenge for me to be on the other side of the camera. 

I know, most people don't like having their picture taken, so it's nothing special.

So that's why I gotta stop taking myself so seriously.

I gotta learn to laugh at myself, to love the way I look in front of a camera, even if my natural instinct is to cringe and hit delete.

This is something I need to do for myself, as hard or uncomfortable as it might be. It's gonna happen.

It's easy enough to take a selfie through a snapchat filter and feel pretty. But this? This is something of it's own and I'm ready to learn all there is to know about modeling.

So if anyone feels like shooting me, I'm fair game.

xx-Honna

nobody asked you

What a trip! Driving from Monterey CA to Southeast MO with my friend and 1yr old GSP was quite the experience. 

I seemed to have left my brain in Cali though, along with my shoes, a pancho, swim suit, camera charger, and shower bag, which are all scattered across multiple states.

Although there were mishaps, a credit card scam, and the general fatigue of making a 32hr drive, it was totally worth it for the shots we got and the memories we made. 

We got to see and shoot at some amazing places as we drove through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. The Joshua Trees were great, White Sands in NM was breathtaking, and the canyons in Texas were beautiful.

Yet still, after seeing all of those new and exciting things, my favorite and in my opinion, most stunning, is Missouri. It was an honor getting to show off my Missouri to my Cali born and raised friend, Taylor, and it was thrilling to finally have a subject to photograph.

Taylor was here for the 2 groggiest, muggiest days of our visit. 100% humidity, cloudy and stormy, it quickly made me realize how annoying the midwest can be at times. 

As usual though, after each storm, the sky clears up, the sun shines and there's this perfect, magical evening light that shines. We were able to capture both the storm and the quiet after the storm.

To put it simply, it was amazing, and it really made me miss everything about living here.

xx-Honna

p.s.

The title of this blog post basically summarizes the theme of our trip. We did what we wanted, we went where we pleased, and we were bound by no outside opinions. 

It really was a "nobody asked you" sort of time.