Thursday, May 12, 2016

"..for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind..." (2Tim 1:7)

I like adventures. But I have a secret...I'm not really that brave. I might come across as daring, I might be the one to climb the highest tree or jump off a 45ft cliff into a glacier fed spring or swing the highest in a tree swing I made myself. I'm not totally gutless, but I'm no dare devil.

I get scared by weird, dumb things like crossing the street or cafeterias or trying to find a book at a library (so many letters so close together freaks me out) or going to the bank.
Basically, adulting is scary.

But I'm learning, slowly but surely, to let go of my pride and fears and do new things anyway. I may still beg someone to accompany me on new adulty adventures, but so what. Friends make things a lot easier.
Also, I've come to the realization that I can use my young looks to benefit me. I can approach a random stranger with a ridiculous question and because I look all of 15 I normally get nice, friendly reactions. No one looks at me like I'm an incompetent 21yr old married woman who's clueless on so much. Most people are shocked when they even find out I'm married. Its really is.

I don't feel old enough to be married, or to have my own home, or to be an adult.
I still feel 15. I still want to run barefoot and build forts and make tree swings and go swimming in the river.
But changes and as much as I long for carefree days of the past, I'm so in love with this new life of mine.
I'm in love with my new home that I share with my best friend and I'm finally doing what I've always wanted to do.

So even though this whole adult life can be scary, and moving to a new city has its challenges and I doubt I'll ever be completely comfortable with it, I don't have to be afraid of anything.
Cause I've got a really awesome God taking care of me, and I've got a husband who loves me like I've never been loved before. 
Any time I begin to feel the familiar feeling of fear...I simply think back on how wonderfully and faithfully the Lord has taken care of us, and my heart is at peace. 
Fear will lose. Always.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)




  1. I love your "frankness" and vulnerability; it paints the "picture" you are sharing, very well, indeed! Very well expressed, young lady! :) And, very encouraging for all of us who deal with some kind of fear! -- Thank you! I needed to be reminded, today!! -- I love you both, VERY much! -- And, one more thing..........the pictures of your home, look comfortable and inviting! Good job!

  2. Finally fixed my google account so we'll see if thus works. My comment was that it doesn't seem to me like you should be old enough to "adult" either, but that time flies and now Annie is older than you were when we met you and that's crazy. That the years fly by and that i still ride bikes through the grass, act like a goofball kid, and pretty much don't even feel like I am in my forties (maybe I should start acting my age) 😂 or maybe you're really only as young as you feel, and we'll just forever feel young. Either way, it's good, all of it, and it's fun and scary at the same time to watch your kids grow up. We miss you (at least that was the somewhat what my first comment said). Glad I figured out my account.

  3. Love it!! Love you guys! And you're 21??? NO way!!! LOL!!

  4. Ugh. I'm UNKNOWN. Aunt Lanette.

  5. Honna, this is beautiful! Even though you claim to look so young, you have a wisdom about you that surpasses many. Your words are few, but your mind and heart hold feelings, many deep feelings. A person who knows they are incapable of knowing everything, who knows that they know very little is wise. Because we can't know everything. God did not design us to. By knowing that we open the door to further knowledge, of the vast creation, love, glory and grace of our Lord.